BTB 48 Skrevet 18. Oktober, 2013 Her er lidt at starte weekenden på. Bare fyld på hvis i har flere. Go' weekend. Efter de havde haft sex, kælede hun for hans lem. Vil du have sex igen? spurgte han. Nej jeg beundrer bare din pik, sådan en havde jeg også en gang...... 2 kammerater sidder og snakker: Kan klitoris sidde bagi? Nej det er ikke muligt.. Er du sikker? Ja helt sikker ... fuck, så har jeg slikket på en hæmoride hele natten.... Ole og Tim havde gay sex "Jeg har Aids" sagde ole, "åh gud" udbrød Tim.. "just kidding" sagde Ole, "jeg nød bare måden du strammede røven på, da jeg sagde det...!!" Manden skal ned og slikke damen... Fy for satan, der stinker her... ja siger hun, det er gigt!! manden: GIGT i fissen?? damen: Nej i skulderen, jeg kan ikke tørre mig i røven...!! Manden tog fat i nakken af konen og med pikken i hånden sagde han: "lad som om det er min bankkonto, den har du aldrig problemer med at tømme..." To damer taler om at onanere. Den ene siger hun bruger agurk "smider du den ud bagefter?" "nej da min mand skal have den med på madpakken, lidt fisse skal han da have..." Hvordan kan man få en kvinde til at skrige 2 gange under samleje? Første gang når hun får orgasme og anden gang når du tørrer pikken af i gardinet.. Citér indlæg Del dette indlæg Link til indlæg
Mindset 6 Skrevet 18. Oktober, 2013 THREE MEN WALK INTO A BAR. Two of the men are talking about the control they have over their wives, while the third remains silent. After a while, the fi rst two men turn to the third and ask, ‘What about you? What kind of control do you have over your wife?’ The third man turns to the fi rst two and says, ‘Well, I’ll tell you, just the other day I had her on her knees.’ The fi rst two men are dumbfounded. ‘Wow! What happened next?’ they ask. The third man takes a healthy swig of his beer, sighs and mutters, ‘Then she started screaming, “Get out from under the bed and fi ght like a man!”’ A MAN WALKS INTO A BAR and fi nds a jar full of money on the counter. He asks the bartender what it’s for. The bartender replies, ‘Every night we have a contest where you have to complete three tasks to win all the money in the jar.’ The man asks, ‘What are the tasks?’ ‘First, you have to go over to Jimmy the bouncer and knock him out with one hit. Then, well, there’s a pit bull out back and you have to pull its blunt tooth out. Finally, the boss’s wife is upstairs and you have to go pleasure her. But you have to put down $10 to play,’ says the bartender. ‘Damn,’ says the man. Later that night, after several drinks, the man smacks down $10 and says, ‘I’m in.’ He walks over to the bouncer and swings. One hit and he’s out cold. The man falls fl at on his face too, but gets up and walks out back. The only sound is the dog howling. Then the man steps back in, goes over to the bartender and asks, ‘Now where is that lady with the blunt tooth?’ AN OCTOPUS WALKS INTO A BAR and says, ‘I can play any musical instrument you like.’ An Englishman gives him a guitar, which the octopus plays better than Jimi Hendrix. An Irishman gives him a piano, which the octopus plays better than Elton John. A Scotsman throws him a set of bagpipes. The octopus fumbles about for a couple of minutes without a sound from the bagpipes and the Scotsman asks, ‘What’s wrong, can ye no play it?’ The octopus says, ‘Play it? I’m gonna **** her brains out once I get her pyjamas off.’ A BRUNETTE, A BLONDE AND A REDHEAD WALK INTO A FAMOUS BAR. The bartender tells them about a magical mirror in the ladies room. He says, ‘If you go up to it and tell it the truth it will grant you a wish, but if you lie – bang! it swallows you up.’ The three women head straight for the mirror. The redhead goes fi rst and says, ‘I’m the most beautiful woman on earth.’ Bang! – the mirror swallows her up. The brunette goes up to the mirror and says, ‘I’m the sexiest woman on earth.’ Bang! – the mirror swallows her up. Last of all, the blonde goes up the mirror and says, ‘I think—’ Bang! Gone! AN 18-YEAR-OLD GIRL WALKS INTO A BAR, rips off her clothes and asks, ‘Is there anyone here man enough to make a woman of me?’ A man stands up, removes his shirt and says, ‘Here, iron this!’ A MAN WALKS INTO A BAR looking really moody and immediately orders a double whisky. Then he starts rambling on about how lousy his wife is, until the bartender fi nally says, ‘You know, I don’t understand what you’re complaining about. All the other guys in here only have good things to say about your wife.’ A MAN AND HIS WIFE WALK INTO A BAR. The man keeps staring at a drunk woman sitting alone at the next table. His wife asks him, ‘Do you know her?’ ‘Yes,’ the man says. ‘She’s my old girlfriend. I’ve heard she took to drinking after we split up all those years ago, and she’s rarely been sober since.’ ‘Oh my God!’ says the wife. ‘Who would have thought a person could go on celebrating for that long?’ AN ENGLISHMAN, AN IRISHMAN AND A SCOTSMAN WALK INTO A BAR, start drinking, and discuss how stupid their wives are. The Englishman says, ‘I tell you, my wife is so stupid. Last week she went to the supermarket and bought $300 worth of meat because it was on sale, and we don’t even have a fridge to keep it in.’ The Scotsman agrees that she sounds pretty thick, but says his wife is thicker. ‘Just last week, she went out and spent $17,000 on a new car,’ he laments, ‘and she doesn’t even know how to drive!’ The Irishman nods sagely, and agrees that these two women sound like they both walked through the stupid forest and got hit by every branch. However, he still thinks his wife is dumber. ‘Ah, it kills me every time I think of it,’ he chuckles. ‘My wife left to go on a trip to Greece. I watched her packing her bag, and she must have put about 100 condoms in there and she doesn’t even have a penis!’ Citér indlæg Del dette indlæg Link til indlæg
Jernsvinet 13856 Skrevet 18. Oktober, 2013 Hvordan kan man få en kvinde til at skrige 2 gange under samleje? Første gang når hun får orgasme og anden gang når du tørrer pikken af i gardinet.. Her kommer den så i den korrekte og oprindelige version: Hvordan får man en kvinde til at skrige 2 gange? 1. gang, når man tager hende i røven og 2. gang, når man tørrer pikken af i gardinet :lol: Citér indlæg Del dette indlæg Link til indlæg
Borende X 25042 Skrevet 18. Oktober, 2013 To ældre damer med alderdommens forskellige skavanker sad og talte på en bænk. Naturligvis kom de ind på de forgangne år og navnlig den for længst afdøde ægtefælle. "joh", siger den ene, "min mand var kusk på Stjernen*". "Ja", siger den anden og retter hørerøret ind, "det havde min mand også". * Stjernen var et bryggeri Citér indlæg Del dette indlæg Link til indlæg
Bebop 9506 Skrevet 20. Oktober, 2013 Hvordan kan man få en kvinde til at skrige 2 gange under samleje? Første gang når hun får orgasme og anden gang når du tørrer pikken af i gardinet.. Den duer ikke. Dels er den ikke grov nok, dels er det jo ikke 'under samleje', når man tørrer pikken af. Jeg kender den ca. sådan her: Hvordan får du en kvinde til at skrige to gange i sengen? Først boller du hende i røven, og bagefter tørrer du pikken af i gardinet. Citér indlæg Del dette indlæg Link til indlæg
Guest Aarhuselsker Skrevet 20. Oktober, 2013 På besøg hos glædespige. Hej søster jeg skal lige hurtigt på toilettet. Åh, det er helt nede i gården. Du kan bare hurtigt bruge køkkenvaskn. Husk at skylle godt. Ok-lidt efter. Hej søster, skal jeg bare tørre røven i viskestykkerne? Citér indlæg Del dette indlæg Link til indlæg
